— Bill Nye (via brokenpromisesanddbrokenhearts)
— Jack Kerouac (via ontelbaar)
I swear people only pass by me in the library when I’m on a tumblr break, making me look unproductive.. I’ve been doing work guys!.. really though.. Like that one paragraph I wrote an hour ago. that shit was genius. I deserve this!
My roommate told me I can’t eat this whole cake
I am really offended like honestly bitch
If anyone can eat this whole cake
IT IS ME
Hey guys PSA
Don’t ever eat a whole cake out of some misplaced sense of pride
You will cry and your roommate will take pictures of you crying with cake on your face
Or, everyone in the auditorium will rise from their seats and cheer your name, “BRUCE! BRUCE! YOU CAN DO IT, BRUCIE!!” And you will humiliate the Trunchbull, and everyone will love you.






